1. Give yourself some time to process. Do not do anything to get him back instantly. I really like to write brainstorms to get my thoughts out so straight after a massive split up I doodle all of my thoughts down. This enables me to process everything in a visible way. If you do not give yourself this time to process you’ll be pondering it continually while doing other things.
2. Be certain about what you want from him. Let him know (once) in a short and consistent way that you want him back and you’ll be around. Be cool. The point is not to persuade him to come back to you. It’s simply to let him know that you still have an interest in making it work. Then he knows and can do what he wants with the information when he’s ready. Then it’s time to leave him alone to process and play it cool.
3. Delete him from your telephone and block his facebook (you do not have to defriend him, just block yourself from seeing his page, block him on social sites like adultfrienedfinder. It can be a temporary fix.) This is crucial for three reasons : it helps you cope, it depressurizes the situation ( pressure makes men shut down ), and it makes him curious about what you are doing instead of contacting him.
4. Spend some time on yourself and things you like to do. Not in order to get him back. Just. For. You. Do things you like. Build your confidence and self-worth.
5. Avoid spending a lot of time on social technology like twitter and facebook. Do not tweet about your split. Do not cut at him online . Do not check his facebook and twitter. Do not post about everything you are doing. Let yourself be puzzling. Get away from the computer and basically have some fun!
6. Don’t avoid other men and do not use them to retaliate either. Women have a tendency to either avoid any and all men to look like they are faithfully waiting or because nobody compares to their ex so what’s the point. First, it’s healthy and fun to begin to know new folk you do not have to marry them (and you can get some free dinner and/or drinks out of it.) 2nd, it’s fascinating to men (including your ex) for other men to get a lady attractive. It’s an animal instinct men have — they need what other men find fascinating. That being said, don’t go in the opposite direction and go boy funny either. This will make you look desperate and easy. It may also be detrimental to you to float from meaningless encounter to meaningless encounter, making you miss your ex more . So maintain a healthy balance. Go out with one or two men that are engaging ; do not expect fireworks, but do not keep your eyes on the ground either.
7. Forgive him. Regardless of what the circumstances of the break are, you’ve got to forgive him and desire him back as you love him, not as he is something that you are used to.
Sure, these tips sound easy, but they are not and I realize that. The how is the trickiest part. Check out my other articles for details on the right way to follow the get him back rules.
Hannah knows the score. For more on how to get him back, check out her website and sign up for her free relationship advice newsletter. Good Luck!