There are quite a few pitfalls for you as a single mom to be aware of when attempting to re-enter the dating scene after being out of it for a while. If this follows a divorce or just a nasty split from your previous partner, you could still suffer from emotional scars that need healing.
One of the scariest things to contend with however is the reaction of the kids to the newcomer into your life. In addition, there are also factors like dress code when out on a date, things to talk about and of course, planning the way forward when things start to get serious. It is always prudent and important that you take well considered decisions. This is in order not to make a mockery of the situation and become like other single moms who are too afraid to take charge of their dating lives. Perhaps you can consider the following tips:
1- Planning Is Essential. The old saying that “to fail to plan, is to plan to fail” carries a lot of truth in this case. In the past you possibly had free reign to do as you wish regarding your social life. You now have to be much more creative in coming up with innovative ideas to keep the excitement of a new date evolving. Take note of the after hour meetings at your children’s school, so that you are not absentmindedly agreeing to go out with your new date, whilst there is a clash with your single parenting roles and responsibilities.
2 – Tell Nothing But The Truth When Out With Your Date. The truth has a funny way of coming to haunt you. A minor indiscretion can be tolerated but outright lying and willful misrepresentation is definitely not recommended. If the date wants to know the real reason for your break-up, tell him the broader facts without going into much detail (like your ex husband was using adultfrienedfinder).
3 – Do Expect Resistance. Your date can be the perfect Romeo, well schooled and well groomed, but your kids do not take a liking to him. Kids can be quite horrible towards someone invading their mother’s space, especially if it is too soon after a divorce. It is for this reason that they must be taken into your confidence and you need to explain that single moms also have a right to date someone. You do not want your kids to control you or your relationship, but you also do not want to force them to take a liking to the new guy in your life.
4 – Put The Guilty Feelings Aside. One of the most prevalent ways in which you as a single mom can literally sabotage your new relationship and act out your guilty feelings, is by consistently referring to your children while on a date. They are part of your life, but keep their presence in your conversation to a minimum and focus on your partner.
5 – Refrain from Mentioning The Ex. To some extent, the mention of children is acceptable, but constantly harping on all the negatives that lead to the separation or divorce, is certainly not on. The golden rule is to only talk about your ex if asked.
There are many guides for single moms who are dating after a separation, so you do not have any excuse not to empower yourself and make a success by applying all of the above.